One of the reasons I left Christianity (among many) is that I really did dig deep down into my spirituality, sought out ALL of the answers, and realized the faith was just fencing everyone in to keep them compliant. I did not like that at all. I want the truth. Always. So I left.
I still admire Jesus, and I do consider him a spiritual being. Son of God? Meh, I think that notion is too simple to apply to a complex person, let along a being who is supposed to be the culmination of God reaching down to humanity and touching its skin, making someone like us in order to “save” us.
As far as I’m concerned, Christianity, primarily fundamentalist Christianity, has sucked all of the joy and wonder out of the notion of connecting with the creator of the universe and all things, making it almost mundane, like a staff meeting you have to attend every week. Why would I want to put myself through that?
These ideas of sin, of missing the mark, it’s kind of fascinating if you think about it, because how are we missing a mark that changes based on what culture you were raised in, and yet it still supposedly objective despite their being millions of gods, thousands of religions, and thousands of texts that claim their way is the only way?
The god who is supposed to want to save us is missing. Oh, people claim he’s everywhere, and in everything, and yet, it’s such a cop out. It would be like me saying God watches everything you do, and when you ask me for proof, I just say he’s watching you right now.
And? What? Who cares? He told you he’s watching me? Why didn’t he tell me? Why choose you to communicate with me? Because I can’t hear him? Sounds like a him problem, because I’m always listening.
Again, a cop out. There’s always a reason why vague coincidence and circumstance is somehow hard evidence that god is angry with me and I need to get right with him. Look, if I need to get right with the creator of the universe because I want to feed people, I want to love everyone, and I refuse to believe eternal punishment is somehow justifiable, then I want nothing to do with such a corrupt being.
It scares my friends and family who are devout believers, because I have absolutely no problem saying I won’t bend my knees to a god that would allow this kind of suffering on earth as some kind of test or lesson. Fuck that, it’s abuse, and I won’t goddamn tolerate it.
It’s not a spirit of defiance so much as a very strong code of ethics, and if my ethics are surpassing the ethics of your god, then maybe you’re the problem because you can’t conceive of a god who might not agree with everything you do while judging others for what they do?
I don’t know, it’s something I tend to think about a lot, because US culture is so steeped in Evangelical Christianity, much to its detriment in my opinion, because the Jesus I have read about was slow to anger, quick to forgive, patient, loving, empathetic, kind, but could get angry at injustice without compromising himself.
These Christians I see around me who claim to love Jesus and want to make the US a Christian nation don’t seem to possess any of those qualities. Honestly? If I believed in Satan, and that Satan was some kind of evil force of deception in the world, I would absolutely believe he created the modern Evangelical Church as a method to push people away from God.
Just some thoughts today.
.Red
